Reader's email

Here's a very interesting email I received today. The person is obviously stressed out quite badly. Anyway, here's the email and my response:

Dear Naz,

I feel very stressed out! It is my first day at school and I am already having trouble getting along with everyone! My form Teacher is so strict, I am starting to wonder if she ever smiles! And to top it all off, I had my allowance 'cut' by my parents for not doing well enough last year. But I was in the top ten in my cohort! What do I have to do to gain some respect here. This is so unfair. I am really feeling stressed out and it is only the first 4 days of the New Year. Please give me whatever advice you can. Thank you.

Anonymous, student, Singapore


Dear Anonymous,

It must be really tough for you, everything all coming on at once. Although I do sympathize with you with all the problems that you have described but I feel that the best thing for you to do right now is to remain positive. Like you said, it is only the first four days in the New Year and there is really no need to start getting stressed out/overwhelmed by these matters. One tip for you is to immediately start doing something that you really enjoy doing. Do it now, even if it is something that you usually reserve the weekend for. It could be watching your favourite movies, writing or playing online games. Doing something you love and enjoy would start improving your mood slowly but surely. And even though those problems wold still exist, being in a better mood would enable your mind to think of solutions more easily as we tend to think better when we are more relaxed.

With regards to not getting along well with your new classmates, I would suggest that you continue to give it a try to get along with as many of them as possible. It is only the first day of school so everyone might still be feeling the 'holiday hangover' so give them some time and who knows, you might make a great buddy from this new group that you thought was not helpful. Same advice goes with regards to your Form Teacher. We are all human and we do feel 'The Monday Blues' so give it some time as well.

With regards to your parents' expectations, I agree that living up to others expectations can put unecessary stress on oneself. But instead of viewing it in a negative manner, perhaps you could take it as a challenge and channel your energy into doing even better. If they still do not appreciate you after that, just remind yourself that you have done your best (but really do your best!) and be proud of whatever you have accomplished.

Have a great year ahead!


If you would like to send me an email, please send it to bodypulse@ymail.com, preferably with your name, occupation and where you are from, just so that I can get to know you better. Thank you!