Dear Naz,
My girlfriend has just broken up with me. I am feeling so helpless and useless! After not being a relationship for over two years, I really thought that this girl was the one for me. We shared such wonderful moments but I do not know why she has decided to treat me this way. I feel so hurt and betrayed. The worse thing was that she always said that she loved me and wanted to be with me for the rest of her life. What on earth went wrong! My life is probably over now as I do not know how I can carry on without her. There will never be another girl like her. Now, I am doomed! Please give me some of your expert advice. Thanks.
Mr K from Singapore
Dear Mr K,
I am very sorry that things worked out this way between the both of you. I can only imagine how painful something like this can be for you after being in the realtionship for two years. It can be totally crushing! The more time that the two of you spend together, the more devastating the whole situation would be. But remember the most important thing; There are so much more to your life. You owe it to yourself and your loved ones to carry on living with purpose and enthusiasm. There is just so much more in life and although I do not know your age, I am sure that there are so many more things(career ambitions, lifestyle, familywise) that you would like to achieve. Take this as a learning experience. I know it must be really hard and you might spend quite a lot of sleepless nights thinking about 'what might have been' and many other questions but it is alright to let it all out to release your anxiety. The number on thing that can heal a broken heart is time. The only problem is that it might take some time and it is what you do during this time that is crucial in getting over this very sad situation. Here are some tips:
1.) Do some fun things for yourself
Give yourself more free time and really enjoy this free time. Do something that you have always wanted to do but always keep putting off, whether it is attending your favourite live football match, taking that much needed trip, hang out with other friends or just going to the gym. Keep busy by doing more of what is fun to you. When you do this, you will feel your energy levels rising again resulting in happier days ahead.
2.) Appreciate the good things in your life
I am sure that there are other things in your life that you are happy about. It could be a promotion that you got, a competition that you had won, a great piece of music that you had written or something as simple(or maybe not so simple to some!) as completing an hour of exercise! By appreciating the nice and simple things that have been going your way, you will realize that there is really so much more to look forward to in your life.
3.) Have a heart to heart chat with someone
If after a few weeks, you still feel stressed over the situation and find it very difficult to get back to your normal routine, you should have a heart to heart talk with someone close(family members and close friends) or if all else fails, you might need to seek some professional help from a counsellor.
However, as they say, time heals all wounds (although the scar might remain there forever) and I am confident that you have the strength to get over this breakup. Keep your chin up, smile as much as you can and continue doing the best in whatever you do. All the best!
Naz
