A great tip from Yoda

Do, or do not. There is no "try". – Yoda (The Empire Strikes Back)

Life requires action, boldness and decisiveness. Arguably one of the most motivational phrases to come out from a movie, this quote from Yoda really does teaches us important lessons about self motivation. A lot of people say 'let me try' whenever they think about taking steps to achieve a goal. The problem about saying 'I will try to do it' rather than 'ok, I will do it' is sometimes it will sink into your subconcious that you might not be capable(for a variety of reasons such as fear, lack of a certain skill, pressure from external environment etc) of accomplishing whatever that you are 'trying' to do and you end up giving a half hearted effort in the action required to accomplish the goal. And there is a much higher chance of you not accomplishing the goal.

Here are some tips to improve self motivation:

1.) Remember your positive skills.
It can be tempting to ve too hard on yourself when you’re struggling but keep your head up by remembering all the things you actually are good at instead. Think of all the times where you overcame seemingly tough situations.

2.) Make sure that you always get excited when you visualize/think about your goals.
It is very important that you feel the excitement once you think about your goals/aspirations. This is because once you start to feel less enthusiastic about them, you will start to lose energy and in turn you might take less action in pursuit of those goals. So always re-evaluate your goals in case you start to feel less excited at the thought of accomplishing them. Imagine how happy you will feel in the future when you achieved your goal

3.) Practise positive self talk.
We encounter negative people throughout our day as well and these people will say things to plant seeds of doubt into our heads. They might be nice people but because they are not aware of how to react when they are feeling stressed, they tend to pass these stressed up emotions to other by giving negative comments. So, in order to counter this, always practise positive self talk. You do not have to necessarily say it out loud although saying it aloud would have a very powerful effect. Just whispering to yourself a few times per day would be sufficient. For example, if you are tired but still need to run an errand for someone, just say to yourself, 'I will be able to do this easily'. You might still struggle with the task because of physical exhaustion but you give yourself a better chance of completing the task.

I hope that everyone is enjoying yourselves as we come to the end of another month. How time flies! Habe a great day and please feel free to email me your questions/comments anytime. Cheers!

Tips on building rapport with others

I recently bumped into an old friend who was telling me about how things have been going in her life. From what I knew about her personality, I always thought that she was one who would do very well in terms of building relationship with people, be it professionally or personally. And true enough, she was promoted within a year to Human Resource Manager in a top firm and is in a wonderful relationship with the man of her dreams.

People who find it diffcult to build strong and meaningful realtionship with people would find it puzzling how others seem to do it so well. They might be wondering if there are any secret formula or steps that they could take to improve relationship on all fronts to get ahead in their lives, because let's face it, no matter how good your are at performing in your career on your own, everyone needs that human touch or human relationship to lead more meaningful lives. It is just the way we humans are made. Great news. No matter how shy you might be or how diffcult your colleagues might seem to be, there are always some techniques that you could use to help build rapport with someone.

So for today I thought that it would be great to provide some tips on building rapport with people, be it your colleagues or that special someone.

1.) Be a good listener
Yes, it's a simple tip but people often forget to do it! People like others that listen to them. One very good way to show people that you are listening to them is to paraphrase what they had just said. Another way is to nod occasionally and/or say 'I see' or 'That's great'. Show people that you care about what they say and they will in turn care about what you have to say as well.

2.) Mirror their body language

Mirroring is a very powerful subconscious technique to build rapport with anyone. When communicating with someone, wait 10 seconds, and then copy the body language gesture of the other person. For example, use the same hand gestures they use, but only when it’s your turn to talk. Match their facial expressions instantly. If they raise their eyebrows, raise yours to acknowledge their emotion.When they nod their head, nod yours instantly to signal agreement or affirmation.

3.) Match their speed and tone of voice
This is a great way to build rapport with someone over the phone. If you are a talking to someone that speaks faster and louder than you, speed up your speech and increase the volume of your voice a little to at least come closer to matching theirs.

4.) Smile
Yes, everyone looks their best when they smile. Smiling makes you look more approachable and friendly. Perhaps if you are dealing with someone that you do not really like but need to put on a friendly, smiling face, take some time and think fo something funny first before going to interact with this person. 
 
 
Please feel free to email me any questions and comments at bodypulse@ymail.com. Have a great day!

Eliminating limiting beliefs through affirmations

                                I can do it!

I conducted a few mental skills trainings for student athletes since the beginning of the year. And I realised that these teens are a very talented lot with great skill in their respective sports but they just have some limiting beliefs that hinder their progress. They do not realise the importance of the mental aspect of their game.

Similarly, for non athletes, limiting beliefs can himedr one from making progress in many ways. For example, you might have the fear of making an all important speech that could land you that promotion. Or you have a fear of asking that wonderful person out on a date or an outing. These limiting beliefs occur due to past incidents that programme our mind. They programme our mind in such a way that whenever we experience such a situation again, our mind is 'used to' the results being delievered in a certain manner. For example, if your Art Teacher use to tell you that you are 'hopeless in art', you would be less confident of producing a good artpiece due to this previous 'negative programming'.

So, in order to counter this, always try to use positive statements or affirmations to re-programme your mind to thinking positively. This would enable you to overcome any limiting beliefs and eventually, you will start seeing positive results from your actions.

A few tips on using affirmations in order for it to work effectively:

- Use 'I am' and 'I can' statements
For example, 'I am able to produce great art work' or 'I can complete my math assignments easily and quickly'.
- Repeat the affirmations regularly.
You might be asking, how regularly is 'regularly'? Well, it differs from person to person. Some people feel 10 times might be sufficient while others might feel 80 times works better for them. See what works best for you.
- Do it just before you go to bed and just after waking up.
This si to help lock it into your subconscious.
- Try to be as relaxed as possible before stating your affirmations.
Again, this helps it to be locked into your subconscious more easily.
- You could also make a poster of your affirmation. Just write down your affirmation and colour and decorate the entire piece of paper/cardboard. Put it up where you can see it everyday or most of the days.
This reminds and re-enforces the positive statements/actions.

By practising self affirmations you are continually verbalizing & visualizing what you desire. When done with intensity and repetition, your mind will treat it as reality and you will begin to develop a new belief.


So go ahead! Believe and achieve! Have a great day!

Upcoming programmes- April 2010

Hello everyone! Here's an update of upcoming programmes/courses for members of the public:


1.) For students aged 12-25.
1.1- Beat Exam Anxiety
Stress is an increasing problem facing teenagers and their parents at exam time. Each year more cases of student stress, depression and even suicide are recorded which directly link to the pressure of exams.


Students will learn:
- Powerful methods to improve motivation for study and revision
- Developing useful revision and study skills strategies
- Building self confidence and self belief to overcome exam anxiety
- Quick fire ways of staying calm during the xams itself!
and much more!


Date: 24th April 2010, Saturday
Time: 9am-5pm
Venue: 37A, Hong Kong Street, Singapore 059676
Fees: $50 (Inclusive of course notes/training materials and lunch/tea break snacks)
Inclusive of 6 months after course email support/coaching

2.) For both adults as well as students.

2.1- Overcoming depression

Depression is more than the normal, everyday ups and downs. When that "down" mood, along with other symptoms, lasts for more than a couple of weeks, the condition may be clinical depression, Clinical depression is a serious health problem that affects the total person. In addition to feelings, it can change behaviour, physical health and appearance, academic performance, social activity and the ability to handle everyday decisions and pressures.


Participants will learn:
• Tools to regain control of your moods fast!
• Powerful methods to dissolve sadness/negative emotions.
• Self-help approaches that combine unique methods of therapies!
• Techniques to help you feel more energized
• Ways to motivate yourself

Date: 30th April 2010
Venue: 37A,Hong Kong Street, Singapore 059676

Fees: $100 (Inclusive of course notes/training materials, lunch and tea break snacks)
Time:9am-5pm

For registration and/or enquiries, please either email me at bodypulse@ymail.com or send a text message to
+65 98466950. We look forward to your participation in these exciting programmes! Have a great day!

Reader's email- Dealing with difficult people

Hi everyone! Today we shall look at an email with regards to dealing with a difficult person. Most of us can relate to such a situation, be it at your workplace, in your school or even at home. There might be alot of people that you might consider difficult. But before we go through the email, have you ever asked yourself, 'what makes a person difficult'? Is it because he/she is rude? Is it because he/she does not give into your demands? Is it because you fell he/she is not respecting you?  There might be various reasons why someone might be classified as a 'difficult person'. But remember that what might be a difficult person to you might be someone very nice to another. So, in short, the most impotant lesson that you should know for today; Everyone deserves respect. 

So, just respect everyone, no matter how 'difficult' they might seem. You might not 'like' them and they might not be your friend, but at least respect them as a human being. You never know, you might seem to be a 'difficult' person to someone else during certain situation/s. Now, on to the email:


Dear Naz,

I just got a job as a service crew in a fast food restaurant. I have been working here for only about 2 weeks but it feels like I'm working in a pressure cooker! Everyone here is so mean! My boss is so rude and my fellow co-workers are so selfish. I am naturally a very friendly girl and I get along very well in school with the rest of my classmates. But over here, it's as if I am transported into a different dimension. Why are all these people trying to be difficult? Is it because of my looks? The way I speak? I am hesitant to leave because I need the money and being under 18, there is only a limited umber of jobs that I could try out. What should I do? Thank you.

Susanna, Service crew, Singapore


Dear Susanna,

Well, you have to decide for yourself which is more important to you; the money or freedom from dealing with these 'difficult people'. You could be in an unfortunate situation where you just happen to be gropued with people you find hard to get along with. Let's face it, some personalities just do not get along at all! Here are a two options that you could consider to resolve this situation:

- Give yourself more time to try to get along with your colleagues. You may never know, some of them might take a longer time than 2 weeks in making friends.
- While trying to give them more time, continue to search for other jobs and if you get another one, you might want to consider leaving this one if you really feel that it might not be of any help working in an environment any longer.

Susanna, please also remember to try not to argue with your colleagues/boss even though they might seem difficult. This is because when you argue with someone you perceive as being difficult they would argue back and the result is a never ending conflict between the both of you. And you would end up having lots of frustration and anger, which in turn might affect your mood for the day. So do not allow other people's reaction/s affect you. Just go ahead and continue to be the fun and friendly girl that you are to all your classmates.

Don't worry, just be happy! All the best!

Yours sincerely,
Naz


If you would like to send an email question/s, please send all emails to me at bodypulse@ymail.com. Thank you.

Have a great day!

Make your own 'feel good' mental movie

Let's face it, everyone has a day when we feel a bit under the weather and for some people, these days happen very often. That is very unfortunate because when you tend to have 'off days' or days whne you are off colour, you tend to keep a lot of the stress and anxiety inside of you and this in turn could accumulate and lead to more serious problems such as depression.

Wheen we feel that it might be difficult to get motivated or is just having a bad day, some of us would try to get over this by chatting with friends and family or just doing some things that you enjoy. That is great but a lot of times, some of us would like to be left alone and try to cope with it the best way that they can.

Recently, a client of mine did a creative visualization technique that helped her get through these bad days. And she realised that it worked so well that these off days started apprearing less often. Well here's what she did with her creative visualization:

- Picture a time when you are counselling a friend or just talking to a friend/family memeber to make them feel good.
- Remember to use all the tips to make the visualization effective, i.e in colour, make use of all five senses, see yourself smiling etc.
- Make this whole 'mind motivational movie' about 5 minutes or so.
- Keep repeating this movie about 5-10 times at first until this movie gets so familiar with your mind that you can 'see' more and more clearly each time you visualize it.
- Once you have done this, use this movie the moment you feel like you are having a bad day.

Remember to choose an occasion whe you are really at the top of your game for your 'feel good' anchor mind movie. This technique works very well over time, once your mind gets used to the occasion that you are trying to visualize. Try it! make your own 'feel good' movie today!

Ok, have yourselves a great day ahead! Happy 'movie making'!

The truth about meditation

During a lot of my programmes, there are lots of questions relating to meditation and one of the most common myths about meditation is that it has a lot to do with religion, or is primarily religious in nature. This is not true.

Firstly, what exactly is meditation?
Meditation is a practice of concentrated focus upon a sound, object, visualization, the breath, movement, or attention itself in order to increase awareness of the present moment, reduce stress, promote relaxation, and enhance personal and spiritual growth.

So although meditation is very popular when it comes to religion because people use it to focus on spiritual growth, it is not the only aim of meditation. We can all use meditation in our daily lives to reap lots of great benefits. The best part of all is that the steps are very simple and all that is required is an enthusiastic you and a space where you can sit comfortably.

There are lots of websites that list plenty of different steps for meditation but generally the steps of meditation are as follows:

Step One: Find a quiet place.


Step Two: Get in a comfortable position. If you prefer to rest your back on a wall, please do so. A lot of people I know are afraid to do meditation because they have a picture in their heads of people sitting crossed legged with their backs straight. Do not worry, as long as you are comfortable, remain in that position for your meditation session.

Step Three: Practice deep breathing. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Slow and deep breaths.

Step Four: Keep practicing. Try to meditate at least once a day. But do not stress yourself out trying to fit your meditation into your schedule. Remember, meditation should make you feel less stressed, not stressed! Do not force anything, just go with the flow. If you feel that you can only commit 5 minutes of meditation per day for only 4 days, then let it be.


The only problem that beginners might find challenging is the need to empty your thoughts for the period that you are performing the meditation. For this reason, I would advise beginners to keep your meditation session to about 5 minutes. It might seem like a very short time but it is best to start simple and work your way from there. Once you feel more comfortable, you can proceed to meditate for about 30 minutes or so. Its best to progress o a weekly basis. Try 5 minutes for a week and if you feel comfortable with that, move on to 10 minutes the following week. 

Should you have any questions on this or any of my other posts, please feel free to email me at bodypulse@ymail.com. I will be glad to entertain any questions/comments.

Have a great day!

Stress Management for students

Hello everyone! As we approach the start of a new month, students in most parts of the world might be gearing up for major mid year/mid term examinations. I spoke to a group of University students last week and some of them feel that although they have been taught plenty of examination strategies, almost 80%  of them felt that they have not been armed with effective stress management techniques to see them through the busy exam period.

Statistics on the stress levels of students reveal that 25% of students are poor at managing stress, while 58% report feeling worried about their grades. Additionally, 71% state that their grades have a direct affect on their level of stress.

Students usually have stress from:


• Their own feelings on how they are fitting in socially and academically. For many students living in a hostel this is the first time away from home.

• Expectations placed on them whether real or perceived from parents or loved ones to perform and succeed.

• Relationship stressors from dating and also from building social networks.

• Financial stressors cause excess worry and anxiety. Many students wonder how they are going to pay for their studies and some even work fulltime to help support themselves. Students are also being hurt by economic slowdowns and realize that they may not get the job of their dreams out of school.

It is very important to adopt some stress management techniques to help cope with challenges and obstacles. Like they say, prevention is far better than cure. So, I would like to recommend that everyone do at least one stress managemnet technique per day (even if it's for just 10 minutes) in order for you to be able to cope better with everyday stressful situations. 

I know what some of you might be saying. Where can I find the time for a 15 minute meditation? Even 5 minutes is precious to me. Well, sure, time is precious to everyone. But here are some very simple methods that you could easily fit into your daily scehdule:

- Adapting your Progressive Muscle Relaxation technque while sitting in the Train/Bus
You could do this while simply closfing your eyes and clenching and then unclenching your fist. Focus on simple deep breathing and after your ten minute journey, guess what? You have completed a powerful stress management technique!

- Have a quick bite for breakfast
I know that lots of people do not take breakfast due to the fact that they might be rushing for their first lession for the day or rushing off to work. But take note that missing breakfast makes it more difficult to maintain blood sugar levels, which can lead to greater irritability, frustration and stress. So at least snack on some crackers or muesli bar to give you that energy needed to cope with the daily stressors.

- While with your friends, crack a few jokes.
Yes, we go back to the old saying that laughter is the best medicine. So, while you are in the canteen or food court during your break, instead of chatting what you 'could have answered differently' for a term test, make a few jokes about the latest news or stories. Have a chuckle about funny incidents at a ball game. Just joke and laugh.

Ok, I hope that you continue to enjoy your studies. And for working people, enjoy your work. But hey, it's the Easter weekend so to all those who celebrate this occasion, Happy Easter!

Enjoy!